Renungan Indah - W.S. Rendra

Renungan Indah - W.S. Rendra

Seringkali aku berkata, Ketika semua orang memuji milik-ku
Bahwa sesungguhnya ini hanyalah titipan
Bahwa mobilku hanyalah titipan-Nya
Bahwa rumahku hanyalah titipan-Nya
Bahwa hartaku hanyalah titipan-Nya
Bahwa putraku hanyalah titipan-Nya

Tetapi, mengapa aku tak pernah bertanya:
Mengapa Dia menitipkan padaku ???
Untuk apa Dia menitipkan ini padaku ???
Dan kalau bukan milikku, apa yang harus kulakukan untuk milik-Nya itu ???
Adakah aku memiliki hak atas sesuatu yang bukan milikku ?
Mengapa hatiku justru terasa berat, ketika titipan itu diminta kembali oleh-Nya ?

Ketika diminta kembali,
kusebut itu sebagai musibah,
kusebut itu sebagai ujian,
kusebut itu sebagai petaka,
kusebut itu sebagai panggilan apa saja
untuk melukiskan kalau itu adalah derita.

Ketika aku berdoa, kuminta titipan yang cocok dengan hawa nafsuku.
Aku ingin lebih banyak harta,
ingin lebih banyak mobil,
lebih banyak popularitas,
dan kutolak sakit,
kutolak kemiskinan,s
seolah semua "derita" adalah hukum bagiku
seolah keadilan dan kasih-Nya harus berjalan seperti matematika:
Aku rajin beribadah, maka selayaknyalah derita menjauh dariku,
dan nikmat dunia kerap menghampiriku.

Kuperlakukan Dia seolah mitra dagang, dan bukan kekasih
Kuminta Dia membalas "perlakuan baikku",
Dan menolak keputusan-Nya yang tak sesuai keinginanku
Gusti, Padahal tiap hari kuucapkan, hidup dan matiku hanya untuk beribadah.
"Ketika langit dan bumi bersatu, bencana dan keberuntungan sama saja"....

(Puisi terakhir Rendra yang dituliskannya di atas ranjang Rumah Sakit)

Thursday

Well...by right it's officially Friday now, but anyway...

It used to be my favourite day as well, it's a official shopping day in Sydney, where the shops close at 9 pm instead of 6 pm on normal day. It's kind of perfect timing as I received pay cheque on Wednesday and go shopping on Thursday...

Shopping day, where else to go? Of course Pitt St mall, which equivalent to Singapore version of Orchard Rd. I don't shop all the time, my favourite is watching the performance of String Quartet outside Grace Brothers' Building (not it becomes Myer's), which played famous classical song.

They normally performed on late autumn until early spring, where the weather still slightly cold. I've never got bored listening to them. I will stay there no matter how cold the weather is, until my flatmate dragged me for dinner, while imagining it would be wonderful if sometime later I would be able to stand there, listening to the same group, playing the same music with the prince of my life. My favourites of course "Canon in D".

The things that I still keep on thinking until now, why they only perform during cold period?

Wednesday

Used to be my favourite day of the week when I was still studying in Sydney, simply just because it's a pay day *yayyyy*

Will take the train or bus to Circular Quay...walking in a hurry towards that building which name I've forgotten already, but I still look for the same building every time I come to Sydney, but too bad the company is no longer there...

Waiting impatiently for my name to be called and in the same time hoping to see that cute manager which smile could even melt the snow at the tip of Mount Everest...by the way where is that guy now...I wonder...

Comparing the pay cheque and the next shift that we got....cursing to the max if we couldn't have any shift for Saturday Night or public holiday (just because the pay is double).

Walking happily in groups, chatting and singing all the way to the bank to drop the pay cheque, continued with having coffee together, dinner or sometimes movie...

How I wish I could turn back the time when life was soooo much simpler then...